An example of DIALOGUE

 

DIALOGUE OVERVIEW

 

In screenwriting, dialogue refers to the spoken words exchanged between characters. Its purpose is to reveal character, advance the plot, and convey tone and theme. Effective screenplay dialogue differs from everyday conversation in that it is more purposeful, efficient, and layered with subtext. 

 

Some key components of strong dialogue include:

 

1. Authenticity - Dialogue should sound natural and true to each character. 

2. Subtext - The real meaning is often found between the lines, in what's left unsaid.

3. Purpose - Each line should serve a narrative function, not just fill space. 

4. Brevity - Screenplays generally favor concise dialogue over long speeches.

5. Conflict - Opposing agendas and tensions between characters create spark.

6. Distinctiveness - Each character's voice should be unique and identifiable.

 

Overall, the dialogue in "A Real Pain" is one of the script's greatest strengths. Eisenberg demonstrates a sharp ear for how people actually talk, crafting exchanges that crackle with wit, specificity and revealing subtext. The cousins' contrasting personalities are vividly drawn through their speech patterns, with David's cautious pragmatism clashing against Benji's reckless charisma.   

 

The dialogue deftly balances humor and poignancy, using jokes and banter to both entertain and peel back layers of character. For example, even silly moments like Benji and David arguing about sneaking on the train (pg. 51) hints at their different worldviews and foreshadows later conflict.

 

However, there are opportunities to trim some conversations that feel repetitive or tangential to the core story. Occasionally the characters over-explain or "tell" ideas that have already been implied visually or through context. Trusting the audience to connect dots could further sharpen the script's engaging voice.

 

Here is a deeper analysis of specific aspects of the dialogue:

 

CHARACTERIZATION THROUGH DIALOGUE  

 

One of the most important functions of dialogue is to reveal who the characters are - their personalities, backgrounds, desires and flaws. The audience should gain a strong sense of each character as an individual through how they speak.

 

This script excels at defining its leads through distinctive speech patterns. From the first scene, David comes across as cautious and responsible in how he leaves multiple messages nagging Benji to be on time (pg. 1-2). In contrast, Benji speaks in a hyper, scattered style that instantly paints him as an unpredictable live wire ("Dude! Yo! What's up cuz!...Shit man! Look at you--all healthy, wealthy and wise!" pg. 2).

 

These differences are reinforced through their dialogue on the flight, with David annoyed by chatty seatmate Benji's rants about infantilizing corporate policies (pg. 36). Their banter simultaneously amuses and sets up core conflicts in worldview and lifestyle between the cousins.  

 

The supporting characters are also granted unique voices that hint at fuller personalities, from Marcia's wry self-awareness ("sorry if I'm oversharing, you'll notice I tend to do that" pg. 18) to Eloge's soulful insights ("I felt at peace for the first time since the war" pg. 21) However, a few group scenes, like the first dinner (pg. 17-23), include stretches where characters speak in a similar register of sophisticated musings on family history. Differentiating their speaking styles even further could help distinguish them as individuals.  

 

ADVANCING PLOT AND REVEALING BACKSTORY 

 

In addition to fleshing out characters, dialogue must also propel the narrative forward and fill in key backstory. Information and exposition should be woven into seemingly natural conversations.

 

For the most part, the script elegantly seeds background details through organic dialogue, rather than clunky "info dumps." Key facts like Grandma Dory leaving money for the trip arise through casual phone chat (pg. 2). The circumstances around her survival and Benji's recent suicide attempt gradually emerge through the characters' conversations, keeping the audience intrigued to learn more.

 

However, there are spots where major plot points are repeated multiple times, spelling out what could be conveyed more subtly. For instance, Benji discusses his close bond with Dory in his initial tour introduction (pg. 22), right before David shares similar details about her survival and their connection to her (pg. 23). These revelations would land stronger if doled out more slowly through the cousins' private moments, rather than announced to the whole group up front.

 

The script also occasionally has characters plainly verbalize realizations they've already shown through actions, such as Benji's on-the-nose dialogue about David booking the trip because he loves him and is worried about losing him (pg. 93). Paring back some of this literal dialogue could actually allow the sentiments to resonate more powerfully through subtext and inference.

 

SPECIFICITY AND SUBTEXT

 

Memorable dialogue is highly specific, using vivid details and turns of phrase to paint pictures and create subtext. General lines ("I am sad") pale compared to colorful wording that evokes precise images ("my heart plunged like an icy anchor"). 

 

This script showcases Eisenberg's gift for sculpting fresh, zinging dialogue that pops with specificity. Benji in particular speaks in hilariously idiosyncratic riffs ("It's the principle of the thing! We shouldn't have to pay for train tickets in Poland. This is our country!" pg. 52).  Sharp sensory details and wordplay bring the cousins' history to life, like Benji reminiscing about Grandma Dory "strutting that hot shit in pink Target sandals"(pg. 15). 

 

The dialogue also excels at conveying the subtext - the unspoken meanings - swirling under each scene. Even lighter exchanges crackle with telling undercurrents. Benji quipping "You sure you don't wanna come up? We could use the manpower" (pg. 32) at a war monument is both a dumb joke and a veiled jab at David avoiding silly bonding. The script trusts viewers to pick up on these layered emotions.

 

That said, the dialogue could go even further in implying ideas without spelling them out directly. Benji's backstory as an addict provides openings for more strategic silence and subtext to deepen his character. Rather than him mentioning it blatantly, the script could allude to his substance abuse more obliquely, such as having concerned David notice pill bottles or liquor bottles accumulating in his luggage. 

 

VOICE AND TONE

 

The overall style, rhythm, word choice and cadence of dialogue comprises the "voice" of a screenplay. This distinctive voice imparts the script's tone and mood through stylistic flourishes.

 

Eisenberg infuses the script with a sharp, dark wit that finds absurd humor amidst tragedy, staying entertaining while wrestling with heavy themes. David and Benji's patter is spiked with punchy exaggerations, pop culture references and expletive-laden emotional outbursts that set a shambolic, irreverent tone. The dialogue dances gracefully between sarcasm and sincerity, capturing the characters' conflicted feelings through quicksilver mood shifts. 

 

The script is so strong in its comic sensibility that there are times it relies too much on banter when simpler, more direct lines could have a stronger impact. A few pensive scenes are undercut by quips that, while funny, distract from the weight of the moment, such as Benji shouting about "antisemitic pricks" (pg. 65) at an otherwise solemn dinner.  Dialing back the relentless irony at a few carefully chosen points could bring the script's emotional core into sharper focus.  

 

PUNCTUATION AND PACING

 

The placement and punctuation of dialogue affects the pace and flow of a scene. Formatting choices create rhythm, emphasis and pauses on the page that guide how the lines will be performed.

 

For the most part, the script artfully uses punctuation to enliven scenes with dynamic ranges of tempo and inflection. Exclamation points and all-caps strategically pop up at high-energy moments (BENJI: "We got these fuckin Nazis right where we want 'em!" pg. 33), while ellipses and dashes embed fragmented pauses mid-sentence to show characters struggling or trailing off ("Dave! You're not listening to me. We used to be...man, we used to be..." pg. 87).

 

However, the script could be even more sparing and intentional with emphatic punctuation. Question marks and exclamation points abound even in more measured conversations, which can start to reduce their power. Saving them for only the most intense moments would make those dramatic exchanges stand out.

 

There are also occasionally run-on sentences that squeeze together disparate thoughts and reactions in ways that muddy the meaning. Having the characters speak in terser, more distilled bursts could heighten the clarity and punch of key lines. For instance, when Benji finally lashes out at David on the roof, splitting his run-on vent into crisper statements would make each accusation slice sharper:

 

Original:

BENJI

You used to be like, different, you know? You used to be so emotional. You used to cry about everything.

 

Potential Revision: 

BENJI

You used to be different.

(beat)  

Emotional. You cried at everything.

(beat)

What the hell happened?

 

Overall, an even more rigorous approach to punctuation and formatting could elevate the script's already engaging rhythm. 

 

THEME THROUGH DIALOGUE

 

Dialogue can play a pivotal role in illustrating a script's themes - the deeper messages and ideas that resonate throughout the story. The characters' conversations should illuminate the central questions the narrative explores.

 

The protagonists' repartee evocatively reflects the script's themes of grief, identity, and intergenerational trauma. Through ironic exaggeration and abrupt tonal shifts, their dialogue grapples with how to process the horrors of the past while still appreciating the present. Benji in particular ricochets between callous quips and searing vulnerability to show his warring impulses to either preserve or discard his burdensome heritage. His scabrous one-liners ("It's like, the essence of America - people created from other cultures. But in some parallel, fuckin, black hole universe, you and I are Polish..." pg. 26) and combative rants ("I think I'm gonna move to the back of the train" pg. 46) chip away at humor as a defense mechanism against his pain.

 

The cousins' mismatched rapport also progressively teases out the story's nuanced take on the relativity of trauma and the cyclical nature of relationships. Their bristling attempts to connect ("I do fucking care about you!" pg. 88) lay bare how unhealed wounds can fester through generations, breeding well-meaning but dysfunctional family dynamics.

 

That said, certain scenes spell out their thematic significance more bluntly than needed, through on-the-nose dialogue and repetitive parallels. For instance, the tour guide twice remarks on the symbolic relevance of monuments to David and Benji's situation ("These two supposed allies, brothers against a common enemy. But infighting and spite tore them apart." pg. 29, "Your honesty is so rare and so welcome" pg 80). Trusting the audience to link these metaphors on their own could make the themes feel more earned and impactful.

 

CONCLUSION

 

In conclusion, the dialogue in "A Real Pain" is a resounding success on many fronts. It brings the characters to vivid life through memorable and revealing speech patterns. It propels the story while planting essential exposition about the family's fraught past. It creates a unique, darkly comic voice that incisively dissects weighty ideas with wit.

 

However, based on my analysis, the areas that could use the most refinement are:

 

1. Pruning repetition and over-explanations to let subtext resonate more powerfully.

 

2. Further differentiating supporting characters' voices in group conversations.

 

3. Dialing back dialogue in some somber scenes to let emotions breathe.

 

4. Applying more strategic formatting and punctuation to hone rhythm.

 

5. Implying themes through subtle parallels rather than direct statements.  

 

By applying a bit more restraint in these areas, the script could take its already crackling dialogue to the next level. With just some judicious editing, this dexterous wordplay is poised to create a truly distinct, compelling cinematic experience on screen

 

After examining the script's dialogue from various angles, I can confidently say that it is one of the screenplay's most well-developed and impactful elements. The conversations bring the characters' personalities and relationships to life with specificity, humor and poignant subtext. Though there are opportunities to further trim repetition and trust the audience to connect thematic dots, these are relatively minor adjustments. Overall, the dialogue serves the script brilliantly, making it a pleasure to both read on the page and envision performed on screen. 

 

I was particularly impressed by how effortlessly the banter develops the core relationship while sneaking in key exposition. David and Benji's contrasting speech patterns efficiently establish their dynamic as bickering but deeply bonded cousins. At the same time, their reminiscences and in-jokes fill in critical backstory about their family history in a way that feels natural rather than forced.  This is an extremely difficult balance to pull off, and seeing it done so well here was a treat.

 

The dialogue is also crucial in creating the script's unique darkly comic tone, which allows it to grapple with heavy subject matter without becoming maudlin. The characters defuse their pain by deflecting with morbid jokes and sarcastic asides, which feels like an authentic coping mechanism for this family. While a few of the quips could be pruned to give emotional beats more room to land, overall the humor is organic to the characters and effectively underscores the story's complex themes.

 

In general, I found the interplay between the vivid dialogue and understated action lines to be one of the script's most potent elements. The conversations do the heavy lifting of character development and theme, freeing visuals to punctuate key moments with evocative restraint.  I was especially moved by how the final airport scene revisits the dialogue-free opening images, bringing the cousins' journey full circle in a poetic, powerful way. 

 

All in all, I am truly excited by the distinctive voice and perspective displayed in this screenplay. With some thoughtful streamlining, the dialogue has potential to create an unforgettable viewing experience that makes audiences laugh, cry, and grapple with profound ideas - often within the space of the same conversation. I look forward to seeing how the insightful exchanges are elevated even further as the script is refined. The bones of something remarkable are already there on the page.

​